1. Short answer: six is a strong positive signal, not a success rate
If a profile on with shows six compatibility matches, that is a reasonable reason to move the person higher on your “worth meeting” list.
It does not mean “a high chance of dating successfully,” and it should not be read as “6 out of 9 = 67% compatible.”
with says its psychological tests are designed to analyze personality and value tendencies and help users find people who may be compatible. The service has both always-available and limited-time tests.[1]
So the number six is not a score. It is closer to saying that several separate tests have judged this pairing favorably.
Six circles on the screen looks impressive because it is meaningful. It just is not six guarantees about the future.
2. Six does not automatically mean 6/9
with does not publish a table saying that the maximum number of compatibility matches is always nine or that each count maps to a percentage chance of relationship success.[1]
The number that can appear also depends on which tests both people have completed and on limited-time tests.
The safer interpretation is:
“Different tests have repeatedly placed these two people on the compatible side.”
with itself has highlighted a couple with four compatible test results in a 2026 success story. Another story describes a couple as matching on almost all of their value tests.[2][3]
Those are selected success stories, not population statistics. They show how the product talks about multiple matches, not how often people with four or six matches succeed.
3. These matches are not just “we like the same hobbies”
One current public 30-question with test asks about issues such as:[4]
- how much affection someone shows a partner
- whether they make an effort to keep a relationship going
- whether they pull back when a partner depends on them too much
- whether they are fine not seeing a partner every day
- whether they dislike a partner interfering too much
Those questions are much closer to relationship distance, affection and day-to-day expectations than to simply liking the same band or food.
That does not prove that with’s own scoring system has been scientifically validated as a predictor of long-term success. But the topics it asks about overlap with areas that relationship research takes seriously.
4. A practical tier list for “compatibility”
Different studies measure different things, so this is not a universal scientific ranking. It is a practical way to decide what information deserves more weight.
| Tier | What it covers | How much weight to give it |
|---|---|---|
| S | Feeling that a partner is committed, appreciation, low conflict, sexual satisfaction, feeling that the partner is satisfied | Strongly tied to relationship quality once a relationship exists |
| A | Comfortable closeness and distance, important values, ease of discussing problems | Hard to ignore in long-term relationships |
| B | Lifestyle preferences and hobbies such as music | Useful for shared enjoyment; evidence for satisfaction is smaller |
| C | Simply having similar personalities, ages or education | Similarity alone is not a reliable guarantee |
A large project combining 43 longitudinal datasets and 11,196 couples found that the strongest relationship-specific predictors included perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived partner satisfaction and conflict.[5]
By contrast, a 2023 study of 1,294 couples found that personality similarity itself explained little about relationship satisfaction, even though a person’s own and their partner’s traits could matter.[6]
A 2025 review covering 339 papers reached a similar broad conclusion: findings on similarity were mixed, and perceived similarity tended to matter more than measured similarity.[7]
The question is not simply “Are we similar?” It is “What are we similar on?”
5. Important values can matter more than matching personalities
A 2026 study of 41,606 partnered people across 74 countries found that perceived gaps on value-related traits such as political orientation and religiosity were associated with poorer relationship quality.[8]
The study measured how participants saw themselves and their partners, so it is about perceived rather than perfectly measured objective similarity.
Still, it supports a useful distinction. Being equally outgoing or equally cautious is not the same kind of match as agreeing on beliefs that repeatedly shape everyday decisions.
That is why six with matches become more interesting when several of them concern affection, independence, closeness or how a relationship should work.
6. Music similarity is surprisingly useful, but it is not the main event
A 2026 study across three samples totaling 309 couples found that real couples were more similar in music preferences than randomly paired people. Some analyses also found small-to-modest positive links between music similarity and relationship quality.[9]
That is more interesting than “music is just a trivial hobby.”
But the effect was not consistent across every analysis. Liking the same artist is not a proven recipe for a stable relationship.
Shared music can rescue a long car ride. It cannot negotiate a disagreement for you.
7. The best way to use six matches
Treat six matches as a reason to prioritize someone, not as a certificate.
Before meeting: “Six compatible results? Definitely worth checking out.”
After meeting: “Real behavior beats the app.”
Three things are especially useful to watch:
- Can you disagree without one person steamrolling the other?
- Do your preferred pace of messages, dates and alone time feel comfortable?
- Are there major clashes around future plans, money, affection or other high-impact topics?
If six tests say yes but every real interaction feels exhausting, the real-world evidence wins.
If the test count is lower but you can relax, speak honestly and adjust differences without pressure, that can be much stronger than a number.
8. Is six rare?
Public data cannot answer that.
with does not publish the distribution of compatibility counts, so there is no reliable way to say “six is top 10%” or anything similar.[1]
What we can say is that with itself has used four matches as a headline feature in a couple story and has highlighted couples who matched on nearly all tests.[2][3]
So six is not something to dismiss as meaningless.
The most defensible conclusion is:
“A strong piece of pre-date information, but the final verdict comes from meeting.”
The app can give you six circles. Reality gets the last one.
References (9)
- with Help: psychological tests
https://support.with.is/hc/ja/articles/15978780731161-%E5%BF%83%E7%90%86%E3%83%86%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%81%AB%E3%81%A4%E3%81%84%E3%81%A6%E3%82%8F%E3%81%8B%E3%82%89%E3%81%AA%E3%81%84%E3%81%AE%E3%81%A7%E6%95%99%E3%81%88%E3%81%A6 - with couple report, 2026-04-01
https://with.is/with_reports/392 - with couple report, 2024-05-29
https://with.is/with_reports/311 - with public 30-question relationship-style test
https://with.is/promotion_campaigns/85/entry - Joel et al. (2020), PNAS
https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1917036117 - Weidmann et al. (2023), Journal of Research in Personality
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2023.104378 - From et al. (2025), Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075251349720 - Kowal (2026), Journal of Research in Personality
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2026.104729 - Vigl et al. (2026), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506261472146
