Costs Went Up, but Paychecks Didn't Keep Pace
Social insurance premiums went up. The tax burden is heavy. Prices keep climbing. Housing is expensive. Education costs are scary. So is saving for retirement.
So did salaries rise enough to cover all that?
I think most people of working age would say:
"Uh, no? They didn't?"
Of course, wages, prices and household income in the official statistics need to be looked at carefully. But from where ordinary people stand,
spending and burdens have gone up. Yet take-home pay hasn't risen enough to make marriage or kids feel safe.
That's the heart of it.
So Two Incomes Become the Starting Point
According to JILPT (the Japan Institute for Labour Policy and Training, a government-affiliated research body), Japan had 1,300 man (13 million) dual-income households in 2024. Most of them are couples with children, and the number of households where both partners work 35 hours a week or more keeps growing.
Dual-income is now the default.
That isn't a bad thing in itself. Women working and both partners building careers are good options to have.
The problem is the feeling that it's no longer a choice but a prerequisite.
In the past, a family could get by on one income. Now it's questionable whether even two incomes will make you feel secure.
And once you go to two incomes, new problems show up.
- Who does the housework?
- Who takes care of the kids?
- Who stays home when a child runs a fever?
- Can you raise kids at a job where you can't cut back?
- Will the two of you have any sleep or energy left?
- Will the money stretch all the way to retirement?
Two incomes mean more money. But less time and less energy.
In other words, to ease the worry about money, you take on more worry about time and energy.
What kind of trade-off is that?
Marriage and Kids Look Less Like Happy Milestones and More Like Big Investments
Marriage and having a child are, at heart, huge life events.
But to working-age people today, they increasingly look like this:
Marriage: a joint-venture contract Having a child: a huge project that runs for 20+ years Housing: a fixed-cost machine worth tens of millions of yen Education: a loot box of future variable costs Retirement savings: the final boss you can't run away from
Of course, there's joy in having kids. There's happiness in family life. I'm not denying that.
But as a decision, it's very heavy.
Taxes and social insurance premiums rise, take-home pay barely moves, two incomes become a must, and raising kids drains your time and energy.
In that situation, if someone tells you,
You should have kids.
the honest reaction is,
"First, guarantee me that my life won't fall apart."
