When Your Family Rejects the Way You Live

When Your Family Rejects the Way You Live

What You'll Learn in This Article

• Why it hurts so much when your family rejects the way you live
• The pain of having "normal" forced on you
• How to think about your life on your own terms
• Words to revisit when you need them

When Your Lifestyle Is Rejected, It Can Feel Like Your Very Existence Is Being Denied

It cuts deep when your family rejects the way you live.

"This is what normal people do." "That kind of lifestyle is ridiculous." "Get your act together." "Think about what other people will say." "Are you really okay living like that?"

When you hear words like these, it can feel like more than just your choices are being rejected — it can feel like your very existence is being denied.

"The way you live" encompasses so many things: your career, whether you marry, where you live, how you spend your money, your relationships, your hobbies, your values.

When your family rejects these things, it's easy to start feeling like you're not allowed to live as yourself.

Your Family's "Normal" May Just Be Their Own Values

Is what your family calls "normal" truly some universal standard?

Having a full-time job is normal.
Getting married is normal.
Buying a house is normal.
Keeping up with extended family is normal.
Choosing stability is normal.
Going along with everyone else is normal.

This "normal" is shaped by your family's values, their generation, their region, and their experiences.

Of course, your family may genuinely believe they're right.
But that doesn't mean their way of life is necessarily right for you, too.

Your family's normal and the life that's right for you can be different — and that's okay.

You're Allowed to Think About Your Own Life for Yourself

When your family rejects the way you live, it can shake your confidence in your own choices.

But at the end of the day, you're the one who has to live your life.

You don't have to completely ignore your family's expectations.
Some of their concern and advice may be worth considering.

But if you let your family's values alone dictate your life, it can lead to real suffering down the road.

What matters most to you?
What kind of lifestyle feels sustainable for you?
How do you want to spend your time?
Who do you want in your life?
What do you want to avoid?

It's important to sit with these questions and find your own answers.

Not Being Understood Is Not the Same as Being Wrong

When your family doesn't understand you, it's easy to wonder, "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong."

But not being understood and being wrong are not the same thing.

Maybe it's a world your family simply doesn't know.
Maybe it's a way of life they've never experienced.
Maybe their own anxiety is so strong that they just can't accept it.

Just because you aren't understood doesn't mean your way of life has no value.

Of course, it's important to consider the risks.
But you don't have to reject your entire life just because your family can't see where you're coming from.

Words to Revisit

When your family rejects the way you live, try coming back to words like these:

• Your family's normal and the life that's right for you can be different — and that's okay.
• Not being understood is not the same as being wrong.
• You're allowed to think about your life based on your own feelings.
• You don't have to let your family's expectations alone decide your life.
• There's nothing wrong with wanting to live as yourself.

In Summary: Even If Your Family Rejects the Way You Live, You're Allowed to Think About Your Own Life

When your family rejects the way you live, it can feel like your very existence is being denied.
But your family's "normal" isn't necessarily what's right for you.

Not being understood is not the same as being wrong.
You can take your family's words into account and still think about your life for yourself.

With My Affirmation, you can save words to revisit after your family has rejected the way you live — words that protect your values and help you think about your life on your own terms.
On days when your family's version of "normal" feels like it's crushing you, having your own words of support can make it just a little easier to find your way back to yourself.

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